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Top 10 ways to stimulate the economy with $3.30
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So I get home from Berlin and find a small mountain of mail waiting for me. Amid the coupon books, 4 credit card offers, countless pizza deals and the Pottery Barn catalogs was a letter from Uncle Sam. Generally whenever I get a letter from the IRS, my first reaction is curiosity, then a few seconds of terror & guilt (uh-oh, they finally figured out I didn't list the $1.72 in dividends I made on my savings account during my sophomore year in college as taxable income), then back to curiosity. Then I opened the letter and read those six letters everyone loves to hear from the IRS. r-e-F-U-N-d!
Yep, looks like the IRS wants to help stimulate the 'ailing' economy (which, btw, is not technically ailing... it's still growing, just not at as high of a rate as recent years), so to do my part they've given me $3.30 to get the ball rolling in turning the economy around as part of the Economic Stimulus Act of 2008. Wow, $3.30... think of all amazing things I can do with that. I know what you're thinking. "$3.30? What can you do with $3.30? What a waste!' Well, to be honest I was a little skeptical myself at first, but I did a little research and put together the Top 10 Cool things I could do/buy with those 330 pennies. Prepare to be amazed. 1. Buy 2/3 of a Happy Meal, as long as that 2/3 includes the gimmicky toy. They can keep the fries. 2. Buy 8 first class stamps to send out personal letters to government officials thanking them for the $3.30 incentive. 3. Turn up the AC 1 degree (which is to say make it one degree cooler) for 30 minutes a day for one month. 4. Invest in a mutual fund with an average annual return rate of 9% and let it sit for the next 30 years netting a profit of something like, well... I don't really know; I hate those kinda math problems. I'm guessing it might be worth - let's see, multiply by 1.09, divide by pi, carry the 2 - about $17 dollars. 5. Buy 3 iTunes songs, boosting Apple's bottom line and solidifying my cult Mac status. 6. Mmmm... Milk Duds at the movies. 7. Fill up the car with 3/4 of a gallon of gas. 8. Go crazy on eBay and bid on that replacement Nikon lens cap I've had my eye on. 9. 5 words... "Hi, welcome to Cold Stone." 10. Put it in an envelope and mail it right back to the IRS as penalty payment on the previously-mentioned unreported $1.72 dividend income from 1994. |

