Listen up.  Here's your chance to retaliate for all the times you've been made fun of for using an "uncool/unfriendly/inferior/[insert other derogatory term of choice here]" machine.  My beloved Mac has apparently checked out... I woke up this morning, but my Mac hasn't, and nothing I can do seems to be able to bring it out of the technological coma it's fallen into.

The doctors at Apple were not encouraging when I spoke with them on the phone this morning.  They hinted at things like hard drive failures and motherboard replacements.  If you're in to kicking people (and by people I mean Mac users, and by Mac users I mean in this case me) while they're down, let the assault begin.  I probably deserve it for all the sarcasm I've sent your way over the years, so lemme have it.  You have my permission.  Be gentle.