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Maybe a Little TOO Close
WHO: A Schick Hydro Razor   |   WHAT: Personal   |   WHEN: July 5, 2010   |   WHERE: Kitchen Counter

This next product falls in the category of "Really?  Seriously?".  Kylie had a cupon for one of these things, so she brought home a Schick Hydro 5 razor for me from the gracery store today.  Before she picked it up, she called me and asked if I wanted 3 or 5 blades for a razor.  5?  Blades??  I just wanna shave with it, not mow the freakin' yard.

I remember a few years ago when the most blades you could get on a razor was 2... and yet men everywhere were able to get by.  Our lives were not in turmoil.  Well, if they were, it was for other more noble reasons... like the absence of Facebook, a phone with an app for playing Hangman, or convection ovens... but not because we didn't have a 3rd, 4th or 5th blade on our shaving instrument. 

And for that matter, why stop at 5?  If 5 is better than 4, wouldn't 6 surely be better than 5?  Or, why not skip the whole one-up game altogether and go right to 11 blades?  Now that's innovation.  They could co-brand it with the Red Cross where everytime you shave you can donate the blood the extra 6 blades cause when you try to get that crevice between where your nose and upper lip meet. 

What a scam the shaving industry is trying to push.  Okay, you're telling us more blades is better.  I get it. For the sake of a blog post, let's say I actually believed it.  Where I get more razor burn is the $13 they charge for pack of 4 replacement cartridgess?  Are you cereal?  Let's go on a little math journey, shall we?  I realize I could probably use the razor head cartridge for more than one shave before throwig it out, but currently that's not in my playbook.  I dunno, maybe it's a little compulsive, but I'm not a fan of the idea of shaving with a crusty, used razor especially if I cut myself the last time I shaved with it and got a little blood on the blades.  For that reason, let's assume for this example that I'm using a new razor cartridge each time I shave.  Currently I'm shaving at an average rate of about 2.5 times/week... the exception being when I occasionally think I might look cooler if I had a sweet 5 o'clock shadow goin' only to realize later that said 5 o'clock shadow makes me look more like a pedophile than Brad Pitt.  But I digress.  Focuuus.

Okay, shaving 2.5 times/wk at a cost of $4.25/shave based on a cost of 4 razor cartridges for $13 (razor cost only, not shaving cream).  After 52 weeks (1 yr), I will have spent $552.50 on razors.  Razors.  Conversely, the current 3 blade razors I'm using cost about $9 for a pack of 8, or $1.13 per shave.  Using the same frequency as before, that totals out to $146.25, or a savings of $406.25/yr. 

I could think of a lot of things I'd rather spend $406.25/yr on... like 5 1 hr full-body massages, 40 Papa Murphy's take-n-bake pizzas (50 if I use a $2 off coupon each time), or 325 boxes of Little Debbie Zebra Cakes.

Okay, I'm realizing quickly that I've now spent 20 minutes on a blog post about razors, when the best thing to come out of this whole debacle is that I got to pull out my 60mm micro lens to take a picture of a razor.  Time to move on.

After all that, though, if you'd like to get a free 5 blade Schick Hydro 5 razor and judge it's worthiness for yourself, go here.


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